Wednesday, 6 April 2011

Sunshine and stuck indoors pulling.

So the sun was out in force today, an unusual state in England but I did not venture outdoors once. As you may know if you have trich it is not just a solitary disorder, it is best friends with some other glorious and debilitating mental illnesses (not in all cases) like depression and anxiety. I have the misfortune of having both along with now as it stands in my life or existence, borderline agoraphobia. I have not always been this way. A number of external stressors over the years, and panic attacks if and when I venture out without my anti anxiety meds topped off with a cherry of baldness on top.
But.. I do want change for the better and this is one of the reasons that I have started this blog.

I have such a headache at the moment and the pulling has not helped. Everyday, I tell myself tomorrow I will stop but here tomorrow turns in to today and still searching for that elusive "Perfect hair" and then I will stop. I really want to stop as it is so awful a fact to tear ones hair out. I know that I am not alone and neither are you if you are reading this and can identify.

Sending pull free vibes and support,
trichy girl x

Monday, 4 April 2011

Bare naked, me and my baldness.

Hi =)

This is my first blog and I feel a bit vulnerable to be honest but I have looked myself and there are not too many trichotillomania blogs etc 

I have managed in the past to go over 100+ days pull free and the regrowth was coming along well but alas I got stressed and started pulling again... and here I am.

I hear people saying aghh "I bet your pulling your hair out" or "I'm pulling my hair out"
 everyday, and I cringe with the heaviness of my secret inwardly thinking yes I am.

I hate so many things about having trich heres a little list:

1) I'm almost bald and barely able to cover my hair in a ponytail.

2) The effect that it has on my close family seeing the damage and not being able to do anything =(

3) The white regrowth

4) The coarse hairs that stick out

5) Being out of control

6) Feeling like a freak

7) The utter devastation that I feel when I look at myself  

8) Wishing I had hair like off the tv adverts

9) Only being able to wear my hair up in a messy bun, no way down.

10) The strange rituals that go side by side with trich.

There are soo many more but at the moment I cannot think. I have pulled today, sat with a little mirror in the bathroom picking the remaining (not that theres a lot left to pull) white hairs out.

I am hoping to connect with other people that this effects and to try to make non trich sufferers understand it and not mock it.

Here s a pic I just took on webcam.

trichy girl x